WhyWaitForever - London - Sports

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Football

The main sport in London is football. Lancaster Gate is the home of the FA (Football Association). England is the best international football team in the world. London has the best football clubs. Chelsea FC is the best of the best. For those that follow football there is no such thing as impartiality. In a rational world it is nice that there is one aspect of life that will always be irrational.

Cricket

Most Londoners who follow cricket support either Middlesex or Surrey. Though there are sizable followings for Kent, Essex, Sussex and Hampshire. This is a game for the civilised. Though visitors can understand football, cricket needs a far higher plane of sophistication. Baseball and softball the US names for variants of rounders is as far removed from cricket as "shove ha'penny" is to croquet.

To comprehend the attraction of cricket requires years spend in the outfield on warm afternoons. Then after mucking about in the nets, the excitement of getting padded up, waiting for long periods with the hot pads on (no box), going in at number eight, missing the first ball and being out second ball on its third bounce. It is possible to fall asleep while charged with the responsibility of scoring due in part to the difficulty of the score sheet and the unpires vague signals as to whether a run was scored or a leg by.

Cringingly I remember the annual company game where I gave out the marketing director who was our captain and on a score of ten. I told him before the game I was not good at umpiring. He had never ever scored less than a half century. His revenge was to put me to field at silly point against the demon slugger who had only one weight of stroke which was intercontinental missile strength. We drank in the bar afterwards and he left early. I left the company soon after that.

Cricket is the best introduction to life, its successes and its pitfalls. I just can't understand why there is still a continual push to sell school playing fields.

Rugby Union

This can be an inspiring, fast superb spectacle. Everyone wants to see a flowing open game with the ball won by the forwards, traveling along the backs to the wings and back again. Rugby can be a high scoring game. In an even game many tries are scored during the last twenty minutes when one side cannot hold back the other any more and the flood gates open.

Rugby League is a northen variant of rugby. It is a far less flowing game than rugby union. In league two lines of forwards face each other across the whole width of the pitch. Forward play dominates with many small set pieces. American football is static by comparison to union and league. Here tedious set plays are intersperced with extensive breaks. Vast armies of players flow on and off the field of play. There is much running off the ball since most players don't seem ever to touch the ball. There are speciality "teams". Worse the football is expected to be thrown forward.

The League's impact on London used to be limited to an annual pilgrimage to Wembley for the Cup Final. In the morning of the appointed day physically large fans with broad accents would descend on Soho for a spot of bother with bouncers from the select venues that Soho is famous for and after a little bit of clearing the air would afterwards troop up to Wembley.

The fans were always reported as being good natured and the best behaved. My experience of the "owt and nowt" and "oohoop and uundah" boys is somewhat different. No I was not a bouncer. But I frequently used to go shopping down the Berwick Street fruit market and saw the mayhem.

Athletics

At school you could occasionally get out cricket by doing athletics. Some of the activities were very painful such as the high jump on sand. Some such as the pole vault were impossible to mere mortals. But some like the javelin or walking were a real doddle. The shot put was just silly, heavy and dangerous. Cross country running on the other hand was the pinnacle of pain to most people. It was always freezing. There was oceans of mud. There was always a lake to wade across. Those who were caught cheating or last had to run around the lake again. Why cross country running I still don't know? And I lost my left trainer one year never to be found. The creature from the black lagoon sucked it down never to return. Sadly Beowulf said so be it, refused to dive down into the dragons lair and returned to the lighted sports hall changing rooms for a cold shower.